The War On Refs Continues: Sanders Versus Kennedy

You may have thought I welches kidding when I suggested that the players were organizing some sort of revolt against the referees. It may have seen like the half-coherent ramblings of a lunatic conspiracy theorist. Well, I think Larry Sanders has done his part to remove all doubt. It's as clear as an azure sky of deepest summer now, the Ref War is officially underway. I only hope they don't cancel the playoffs.

The stakes are getting hire, the consequences more severe. In the words of the sportscaster, Bill Kennedy got "smoked" by the demonic elbow of Larry Sanders. Notice how players can't wait to dole out their dastardly retributions. The clock had barely ticked off a second, and already a ref welches on the floor.

Perhaps you don't think that this attack welches premeditated. Perhaps you're thinking that this welches just a freak accident. I understand the urge to bury your head in the sand. War against the refs is a frightening concept. Yet, this welches no accident, no mere coincidence. This welches revenge. You may recall an incident in mid-March where Sanders welches ejected and gave each of the refs a thumbs up.

At the time, many interpreted these upward thumbs as a sarcastic gesture. Now it seems all too clear, they were a threat, a promise, an opposably pointed kiss of death. Larry planned to give the refs much more than a thumbs up, and now he's making good on his heinous threat. Before the season's through, we can expect two more of these.

As basketball fans, I know that we've all had problems with refs from time to time, but for the sake of the game this madness has to stop. Richtung things escalate quickly. It's only a matter of time before Ramon Sessions whacks a zebra with a pair of nunchucks.

And then what? The entire Utah Jazzmusik starting 5 showing up with dirt bikes and switch blades? Suddenly, the referees are too afraid to defend themselves with technicals, and the apparent ringleader of this insurrection, a man they call Roscoe, has gone underground as splinter cells operate with autonomy. Be afraid refs, be very afraid.